From Rock Bottom to Breakthrough: How Shifting My Mindset Rescued My Business and My Life

When Everything Falls Apart

In 2007, things were going well. We were doing over 100 loans a month, and two of our loan officers had made it onto Mortgage Originator Magazine’s Top 200 list. Not too bad for a small little mortgage office in St. Louis. The business was running smoothly, and we were getting recognized for the work we were doing.

Then, 2008 hit. The mortgage market collapsed, and everything came crashing down with it. We went from closing over 100 loans a month to barely scraping by with 10. My personal income? Yeah, that dropped off a cliff. Life-altering.

But you know what? I’ve faced hard times before. Growing up on welfare with a single mom, with my dad in and out of prison? Yeah, life wasn't exactly easy.

I’ll never forget one day—I was just a kid—watching my dad drag my mom by her hair out of a moving truck. Then, he shoved her under it as it backed out of the driveway. I thought I watched him kill her that day. That moment is burned into my brain, and let me tell you—it messes with your head.

The Struggle Gets Personal

So when 2008 came, and we lost nearly everything, it wasn’t the first time life had tried to knock me down. But this time, it felt different. I was 33 years old, married, with two young kids, and that year? I made $15,000. Fifteen thousand dollars.

That’s not living money. That’s foreclosure-knocking-at-the-door, bankruptcy-becoming-reality kind of money. We were drowning. No job. No income. No idea how we were going to make it.

On top of that, my 4-year-old son started complaining of constant headaches. After months of back-and-forth with doctors, they diagnosed him with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. IIH happens when too much cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) — the fluid around the brain and spinal cord — builds up in your skull. This puts extra pressure on your brain and on the nerve in the back of your eye. He needed surgery—a ventricular shunt to drain the fluid building up in his brain.

That surgery was just the beginning. It marked the start of a decade-long journey, one filled with multiple brain surgeries, endless hospital visits, and a fight for his future that pushed us beyond what we ever thought we could endure.

I was broke. Nearly jobless. Almost homeless. Hopeless.

A Lifeline in the Darkness

But there was one thing that still worked. The software tool we built for real estate investors was getting results. Investors were using it, closing more deals, and making real money. And I had this idea: what if we just sold subscriptions to the software?

I didn’t know anything about “Software as a Service.” If that was even a thing back then, I had no clue. But I knew this tool could help real estate investors get more deals done—and in less time.

It was a lifeline, but man, that wasn’t the only battle I was fighting.

The Real Battle: The Mind

I had to deal with my own mind. Growing up the way I did, I had this deep-rooted belief that I wasn’t worthy of success. That I wasn’t good enough. You can try to ignore it, but those voices? They’re loud when life is kicking you down.

One night, I came across this Tony Robbins video that changed everything. He broke down a simple concept: how belief fuels everything. He had these four boxes showing how potential leads to action, action leads to results, and results fuel your belief.

But here’s the kicker: most people think it’s all about action and results, but if deep down you don’t truly believe in your potential, you’ll only take small actions. You’ll dip your toe in, play it safe.

And when you only take half-measures, guess what? You get limited results. Those results confirm the belief that you can’t do it. It’s a vicious cycle that people stay stuck in until they quit. And their subconscious mind? It’s sitting there smug, saying, “Told you so.”

The Power of Belief

That’s when it hit me—belief wasn’t just some nice idea. It was the foundation. If I didn’t start with belief, everything else would crumble. It sounded simple, but it set me on a journey to learn how to reshape the beliefs that were running my life.

I had to start by confronting that little boy inside me who didn’t believe he was lovable, who thought he wasn’t good enough.

I remember the night like it was yesterday. I had been working late at the office, pouring over ideas, trying to figure out how to get us out of the hole we were in. I came across that Tony Robbins video. It was past midnight when I finally finished watching, but I was so fired up, I couldn’t sit still. I grabbed my things and rushed home.

Now, here’s the thing: we had a newborn baby girl at the time, just 6 months old, and if you know anything about newborns, you never wake mom up when she’s finally asleep. But I was too excited. I had this fire burning inside me, and I couldn’t hold it in. So, I did the unthinkable—I woke her up.

I pulled a dry-erase marker out of my pocket, and I didn’t even have a whiteboard. The only thing I could find was the full-length mirror we used every morning to get dressed. I stood in front of that mirror, marker in hand, and I started drawing the four boxes from the video: Potential. Action. Results. Belief.

I circled “Belief” and underlined it like my life depended on it. I turned to Jackie, looked her dead in the eye, and said, “We have to believe. It all starts here.”

She blinked a few times, half-asleep, and then looked up at me with this calm, steady look. And she said, “I believe in you. I always have. That’s why I married you.”

That moment hit me harder than anything else. It wasn’t just the belief I needed to have in myself—it was knowing that someone else already had it in me, even when I couldn’t see it.

The crazy thing? The next morning, when I went to get dressed, there it was—those four little boxes, staring back at me in the mirror. I couldn’t ignore it. The day after that, it was still there. A week later, still there. Every morning, I looked in that mirror, and it reminded me that belief wasn’t just a word. It was something I had to live and breathe every single day.

Sixteen years later, that same mirror sits proudly in my office, still with the faded outline of those four boxes. It’s a constant reminder of where we started and the power of believing in what’s possible.

That was the moment I realized I had been holding myself back with my own damn thoughts. The old stories, the old scars—they weren’t true anymore. I had to rewrite the narrative playing in my head.

Changing the Self-Image

Psycho-Cybernetics teaches that your mind is like a machine—an automatic, goal-seeking device. The problem? It doesn’t care if the goal is good or bad. It just follows the instructions you feed it. And for years, I had been feeding mine a steady diet of doubt, fear, and unworthiness.

Those old stories, those scars? They weren’t true anymore. But my mind didn’t know that. Your subconscious doesn’t care about truth or fiction—it only knows what you tell it, over and over again. I had to rewrite the narrative playing in my head. I had to reprogram the machine.

In Psycho-Cybernetics, Maltz talks about the power of self-image, and how every single action we take is tied to what we believe about ourselves. If you see yourself as unworthy, unsuccessful, or not good enough, you’ll act in ways that confirm it.

That was me. I was sabotaging my success before I even started. Because no matter how big my goals were, my internal self-image—the picture I had of myself—didn’t match. I didn’t see myself as successful, so I found ways to fall short, even when the path was right in front of me.

Reprogramming the Machine

I had to change the picture. I had to see myself as successful before I could be successful. That’s what Psycho-Cybernetics teaches—your mind operates on images. It responds to the mental pictures you hold of yourself, and if those pictures are of failure, fear, or doubt, that’s the path you’ll follow. But if you can change those pictures—see yourself winning, succeeding, and thriving—you’ll move toward that instead.

But it’s not just about wishful thinking. It’s about reprogramming your mind with new instructions. If you want different results, you have to change the mental blueprint.

REI BlackBook was born out of that fire. Out of struggle. Out of the realization that the only thing standing between where I was and where I wanted to be was my own mindset.

Visualize It Before You Live It

Psycho-Cybernetics teaches that the subconscious mind can’t distinguish between a real experience and one that’s vividly imagined. So I started to see it—I started to visualize myself succeeding, building a company, and pushing past the limits I had placed on myself for years.

I wasn’t just thinking about success. I was living it in my mind before it ever showed up in reality. That’s the secret. Your subconscious mind needs a clear picture of where you want to go, and if you can give it that, it will work to get you there—just like a guided missile zeroing in on its target.

That’s why REI BlackBook exists today. Not because of luck, or timing, or circumstance, but because I finally understood that the only thing standing in my way was the story I was telling myself. Once I changed that, everything else started to fall into place.

Actions and Takeaways: How to Rewrite Your Story

If you’re reading this and you’re stuck—stuck in a place you don’t want to be, whether it’s your business, your finances, or your life—I’ve been there. You might feel like the weight of the world is crushing you, like no matter what you do, you can’t catch a break. But here’s the truth: you can’t change your reality until you change your mindset.

1. Start with Belief Everything begins with what you believe about yourself. If deep down you think you’re not good enough, not capable, or not deserving, you’ll stay exactly where you are. The first step is changing that inner dialogue. Start by telling yourself a new story—one where you’re capable, deserving, and unstoppable.
   
2. Visualize Your Future Self You have to see the version of yourself who’s already won, who’s already successful. Picture it. Feel it. Live it in your mind before it happens in real life. Your mind doesn’t know the difference between what’s imagined and what’s real, so make the future you want feel real.
   
3. Reprogram the Old Narratives The stories you tell yourself—about why you can’t, why you’ll fail, why you’re stuck—aren’t truths. They’re stories, often born out of pain, fear, and past experiences. Acknowledge them for what they are, then rewrite them. Your past doesn’t define your future unless you let it.
   
4. Take Small, Consistent Action Big goals can feel overwhelming when you’re down, but you don’t have to conquer the mountain today. Take small steps forward, but take them consistently. Momentum builds over time, and soon, those small steps will add up to massive progress.
   
5. Surround Yourself with People Who Believe in You When you’re battling your own self-doubt, it’s crucial to have people in your corner who believe in you, even when you don’t. Find your support system—people who push you, who see the greatness in you, and who hold you accountable to your potential. And if you’re a real estate investor, come join our tribe of like-minded people at REIBootcamp.com, where we lift each other up and help you build the life you deserve.
   
6. Refuse to Quit There will be setbacks. There will be moments where you want to throw in the towel. But no matter what happens, refuse to quit. Keep moving forward, even when it’s hard. Success isn’t about never falling down; it’s about getting back up every time you do.

If you’re in a place you don’t want to be, understand this: the life you want isn’t out of reach. The change you need starts inside you—right now. Take control of your story, reprogram your beliefs, and start seeing yourself as the person who’s already won. Once you do, everything else will fall into place.